Dear Princess and Pig,

I'm writing because I've got a real problem. I just met the most amazing woman -- she's smart, she has a great job and she's smoking hot. Basically a dream girl. We're really into each other. There's just one issue: the sex isn't good. In fact, it's just okay. We've talked about it and she feels the same way. I'm starting to think it's my size, because she has dropped some subtle hints about us trying something to increase it. This is not the first time I hear this from a lover. I'm not willing to use pumps or weights or anything painful like that.

My question to you is, what should I do? I really do want to give this girl what she wants -- everything about our relationship is awesome. On the other hand I don't want to be stuck with bad sex. Is there any way I can "measure up" without using risky methods? Or should I just dump her ass?

Thanks,
Max in San Diego

Answer:

Dear Max,

It sounds like you've got two problems here. On the one hand, you've lost some confidence because of the things your previous lovers have said. On the other, you're once again with a woman whose needs you're just not meeting.

Thank God I've never had to deal with that problem with my boyfriends, because size does matter. Anyway, since I have no experience with "small" men, I consulted with my friends and they say there are natural ways to increase your size and be porn star-big. The most effective pills are Xanogen and HGH Factor and, when used combined, they give amazing results in a short period of time.

Honestly, this is more a question for the Pig, because he knows everything about penises, he has actually tested and confirmed the validity of claims from practically every product out there. His desk is a hot mess full of products.

What I do suggest is that you act soon, because otherwise your "dream girl" will dump YOUR ass as soon as she finds someone who really satisfies her. I know I would.

Send us an update. Good luck, Max.

Love,
Princess

Hey, Max --

A smoking hot girl with a good job? Why would you dump her ass? Might as well use it!

And Princess, I'll make a hot mess out of you, just step into my office..

Seriously, though Max -- Here's my advice (and I agree with Princess on this one): Unless you do something, you're going to lose your "dream girl", and the next one, and the next one after that…. So get on it like ASAP.

Tons of guys have asked me this question over the years and I keep giving them the same answer, my buddies in the skin flick biz have told me time and again that the porn star system is totally legit. It's basically a two-pill stack. You need Xanogen (boosts testosterone and supports the male reproductive system) and a bodybuilding supplement called HGH Factor (increases human growth hormone for muscle and penis growth). This combo is currently available for about $10 -- click the links to get the products. You can get ripped and hung like Peter North at the same time. It's unreal.

If it doesn't work out with this girl, let me know. I'd love to meet her, and give her what she needs.

Pig